Black, Sirius Black
by chibs3000
Summary: What would it be like to step inside the mind of Sirius Black? It would be dangerous but interesing, no? Let's step into his mind, shall we? Set in the Marauder Times.
1. Chapter 1

_Let's take a step into the mind of Sirius Black, shall we?_

_Reviews, please - they make me happy!_

**Chapter One**

**home, aka hell:  
**Bloody Hell. 10 days till school. 10 days too many. My mum's been off her rocker lately - well, isn't she always? - rambling around about how I'll just keel over one day since I don't serve Monsieur Voldy. Voldy can bite my arse for all I care. God knows I'm not like my pathetic brother Reggy - he basically wet himself when dad gave him the, "One Day You'll be Voldy's greatest Servant" speech. I would have enjoyed to see the look on Reggy's face. What a prat.

**what the..?**

My school things are missing. Either my mum's gone on one of her cleaning sprees again - no, never mind, she thinks she'll be cursed if she steps foot in my room - or maybe Reggy got overly excited and decided it would be fun to take my things. I was actually going to pack, too. See the punishments I get for living here?

**culprit?**

...Kreacher. Of course. Shouldn't he be dead by now? Sometimes I want to kick him - just for fun - to see if his head will topple off his shoulders. But I'd rather not touch him if I can't help it. You don't know where he's been. Actually, I do know where he's been - mucking about in the basement, cackling madly to himself. Mum calls him 'adorable'. I keep reminding her to take her medication...but does she listen? No.

**finally.**  
Kreacher gave me back my stuff after some persuasion...which involved kicking. And I'm sorry to say that his head does, in fact, not roll off his shoulders. I was very disappointed. But for some reason, when I told Mum that, she sent me to my room. These people I call my parents? They say I'm a very troubled child. I beg to differ.

**ergh.**

My wand has goop on it. And I don't know what kind of goop it is or where it came from. All I know is that Kreacher had it at one point...

**well.**

Time for a new wand.

**letters.**

Finally got a bloody letter from Prongs - thank God. His life is so boring. I'd rather not hear about his woeful attempts to woo Lily. I swear, the boy is stalking her. He says he just 'ran into her' one day...lies. All lies. I'm trying to decide whether to write back or not. I'd better, or he'll keep sending me more letters rambling about Red - aka Lily. So then, a letter...hhm...

_Dear Insane prat,_

**dad.**

Just came in my room. I'm rather amused at the moment. When he stared in horror at my Kreacher-poisoned wand, the look on his face sent me into a laughing fit. He found nothing funny...

...he thinks that I did that to my own wand? I do admit, these Voldy-servers have rather dirty minds, don't you think?

When I told him it was Kreachers fault, he got even more disturbed. I'm no arse-bandit, if that's what he's thinking. Kreacher and I have no romantic involvement whatsoever, thank God.

**reggy.**

Accused me of romantically attacking Kreacher. I think I just threw up a little inside my mouth...how interesting. I didn't know that was possible. When I told Reggy - politely, of course - to sod off, he went off to Mum, whining. What a git.

**Hm.**

Poor Kreacher has thrown himself down the stairs. Mum says it was an unfortunate accident. She's fluttering about, trying to figure out whether to just get a new house elf or keep Kreacher. Dad's about somewhere...I'm not sure he cares. Reggy is practically devastated - he'll start sobbing any minute, I expect.

Me? I say suicide. Poor thing.

**the jig is up!**

Father has accused me - of all the people - of throwing dear, beloved Kreacher down the stairs.

"But Father," I said sweetly, "You, of all people, should know that I love Kreacher with every fiber of my being. How could I possibly throw such a lovely creature down the stairs? How violent!"

Reggy started laughing after I spoke the words 'I love Kreacher'. I politely reminded him that I'm not the one going down to the basement for regular snog-fests with our little dying house elf. That shut him up.

**grounded.**

So I threw Kreacher down the stairs, so what? It's not like anyone will miss him. I told Mum that I'm sad about it, and I am. Kreacher's head didn't topple off. And he's still alive.

And I tried so hard. I'm very disappointed in myself.


	2. Chapter 2

_Reviews, please - they make me happy!_

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**Chapter Two**

**in my room, contemplating my existence  
**5 days left. 5 bloody days too many.  
Dear old Dad left with Reggy to get supplies. I refused to go - partly because I didn't want to be seen out in public with them, but mostly because I'm still grounded. Kreacher'll get over it soon enough...  
Mum's off somewhere...probably cleaning something. Or worshipping Voldy in some gormless shrine of hers. Sometimes I think Voldy could give Dad the run away - Mum would probably marry Voldy. Maybe their already married...how sick. I wonder if I get to carry the rings at the wedding?  
I wonder if I'm even invited? Hm.

**haha.  
**I asked Mum if I was invited to the wedding. She had no idea what I was talking about and told me to shove off so she could clean the furniture. I've no bloody idea why it takes her so long to clean - she's a witch. In more ways than one.

**bored.  
**Pushing Kreacher down the stairs? Worth it.  
Bothering Mum about her and Voldy's secret affair? Hilarious.  
Stringing Kreacher from the living room fan? Brilliant.  
Turning the fan on? Priceless.

**later.  
**Mum was a tad hacked off when she saw Kreacher spinning from the ceiling. She, of course, blamed me. Now, seeing Dad and Reggy trying to get Kreacher down...with the fan still on? What gits. You're supposed to turn it off first...well, that is, if I hadn't broken the fan so they couldn't turn it off. It was rather hilarious to see Reggy get hit in the face with one of the fan blades...and to think me breaking the fan was purely accidental. I'm brilliant.

**grounded...again?  
**Can you get grounded once on top of the other? I suppose you can.  
Now to write a letter to Prongs...I just might have beaten his record.

**4 days left.  
**Yesterday came and went. Reggy has a rather large bruise on his forehead. Kreacher runs, screaming obscene words whenever I pass by. Dad got me a wand for Hogwarts, but it's utter crap. He just threw it at me, really, saying that I should really start thinking about my place in the family.

"You don't want to be like _Cedrella_, do you?" He shuddered as he said her name - Cedrella being my grandmum...or is it great grandmum? something of the sort - and then led me to the tapestry in the Great Hall, showing me where she'd been blasted off.

He looked somewhat proud that I seemed like I was paying attention. Really, I was just smiling because I managed to tie his shoelaces together while he was rambling on about cursed relatives.

**-sigh-  
**Dad didn't fall down the stairs. I was so hopeful...

**3 days left.  
**I think I'll die. That's how bloody bored I am. And I'm still grounded. Bloody beat that, Prongs...

**letters.  
**I was bored, so I opened some letters I hadn't looked at before.  
Got one from Moony. Saying how he's looking forward to school and to seeing everyone...he's been _reading_ this summer. Who in their bloody right mind actually takes the time to _read_? I sure as hell don't.  
I also got a letter from Wormtail...and couldn't understand a word. His handwriting is worse than mine. And that's saying something.  
Another letter from Miss Holly Dawling herself. Holly is a bit of a tart, if you know what I mean, and she totally and utterly fancies me. Rather annoying...but she is a rightfully good snogger.

**2 days.  
**left. Kill me now.

**Tomorrow.  
**Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy...Hogwarts? Or something.  
The school hasn't met the wrath of me. Oh no.  
Black. _Sirius Black_.  
Watch out, world...

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_Finally get to start writing about Hogwarts! -dances- I'm so thrilled! Next chapter it is, then...and please be sure to comment!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay...so during this chapter I went blank. Totally and utterly blank. I could not, for the love of me, remember Sirius' nickname. I remembered everyones...but his. I hit myself a few times and finally remembered Padfoot. Thank the Lord. I shall now stab myself for my clear forgetfulness._

_Also, Sirius calls Lily 'Red', so that's who he's talking about if you see that mentioned. In case you wanted to know._

_Disclaimer:: Everyone and everything (even Remus...) belongs to someone other than me. How sad._

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**Chapter Three**

**marauders reunited  
**How insanely fun - or rad, as Prongs said today...what a prat - meeting the good olde Marauder fellows once again. The three stooges meeting started out fairly normal-like...well, four stooges, actually, if you count Peter. Although he isn't really a stooge officially, as I've said before. Prongs agrees.

Anywho, as I was saying, the Marauders met regularly-ish.

Starting off with me madly tackling Remus (Moony) in front of the train. And then rightfully hitting the train. Thankfully Moony hit the train first, protecting my own fall. If my beautiful face were to have hit the train...chills, I tell you.

After Moony stabbed me with some foreign object - I'm pretty sure it was a quill, since he actually writes with them - we boarded the train and ignored Prongs while slipping into a compartment. Prongs managed to find us along with Wormtail.

And now, slightly after the train started, there is a weird smell in the compartment...

**huzzah!  
**Red has arrived in the compartment! The smell has been rightfully identified.

**oh great lords above.  
**I fear Prongs is having a seizure. His eyes are twitching at a dangerously fast pace.

"Er, James?" Wormtail says, "Are you alright?" Leave it to dear Wormtail to point out the obvious.

"No, Peter," I say quickly, "Prongs is not alright. He needs deep medical help so his eyes will stop twitching -"

"_Sirius,_" Prongs growls, "Shut up!"

"- But mate, your eye - oh! Oh, you were _winking_, was that it? My gads, Red, he was attempting to wink at you! With both eyes!"

"I was not -"

"Mate, yes. Yes you were."

**er.  
**Red has left the compartment as to avoid the evident awkwardness that arose along with Prongs' mad eye twitching. I've hidden behind Remus as to avoid any sharp objects that might be flying from the 'mad prat' direction. That and to avoid Holly Dawling, who Red says has been running about looking for me. Which means that she is indeed stalking me. I feel as though the end is near.

**how fun!  
**My cousins just entered the compartment. I'm thrilled it isn't Holly, but Prongs doesn't look so thrilled. Bellatrix looks like something has just crawled up her nose and Narcissa is looking particularly evil today...which isn't very evil looking, actually.

"Cissy!" I say loudly, "How are you this fine day of days?" I stand and reach to embrace my _favorite _cousin, but she pulls out her wand. Such hostility between family members. I would try to hug Bella as well, but I feel as though she'll need both her hands to pull whatever crawled up her nose out...

"Sirius," Cissy snaps, "Obviously you still feel the need to associate with..." She pauses. "_These people_."

"Actually," I say, "I've got them running about the castle doing my evil bidding. Knitting up some sweaters for Voldy-whatsit, sending him some chocolates...after awhile I should be one of his top mates, don't you think?"

Both my cousins get looks of pure horror on their faces, like I just killed their hamster. Which, if they did have a hamster, I'm sure it'd be dead by now anyway. Bella only cares about herself while Cissy doesn't enjoy the concept of feeding anything - including herself.

Gads, now their rambling to themselves. Moony has gone back to reading his book - he reads! - and Prongs is telling some elaborate story to Wormtail. And knowing Peter, he's believing it. Cissy and Bella are still rambling. I've done everyone a favor and shut the compartment door in their faces.

**Ahh  
**Much more quiet. I enjoy silence. Beautiful silence, with absolutely no one talking or saying anything...

**3 seconds later.  
**Gads, it's too boring for quiet. I've stolen Moony's book and attempted to read it. Why is every other word more than 6 letters? I asked Moony that and he threatned to stab me again if I didn't give his book back. Why is it that people are so hostile these days? Where has all the love gone?

**bloody hell.  
**I've found the answer! The love has gone straight into Holly Dawling herself, who has now flung herself into the compartment. She may be a good snogger, but I fear she's gotten uglier over the summer holidays.

"Sirius! Oh, I've missed you!" She grinned all huge and opened up her arms for a hug, which I politely declined.

"You see, Holly dear," I said seriously, "I've caught a mystery illness which infects everyone I touch. It's rather sad, you see -"

Prongs finds this moment oportune to roll his eyes and scoff loudly. Holly - unfortunately - notices.

"Oh, Sirius, you tease!" She threw her arms around my neck as I raised a hand and made a rude gesture to Prongs behind her head. Unfortunately, now, we are even. But the score will not stay even for long.

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_Felt like I should end it here. Well, this chapter anywho. Don't fret, the next chapter will definitely include Hogwarts and many Marauder pranks...and I'll try to get Remus to talk more. And Peter too, even though I hate him. Ah well._


End file.
